White Middle Aged Female- Should you REALLY Date a Black Man???

         Obviously I'm a fan of interacial marriages and relationships, but I assure you, no matter how interesting the thought of dating outside of your race becomes, don't assume it will be easy!

Why Dating/marrying a Black Male as a White Female is straight up HARD, but Worth It!!!

1. As a couple you immediatly draw the eyes of the public! If you are low-key and don't like to attract the attention of others, you really need to understand, this WILL happen.

2. Your white family is unlikely to understand and they will do one or all of the following.

                A. Disown you

                B. Mock your relationship

                C. Not Understand

                D. Believe you are too good for the relationship

                E. Think it's unfair if you have white children

                F. Force you to ALWAYS justify your relationship-even when your married

3. A black male carries burdens you will NEVER understand and the wrong approach to understanding can lead to real issues in your relationship.

4. People of every color will assume it's purely sexual- You will get stereotyped and you must be prepared.

5. You will get stares from black females and will be "White women taking our Black men". Accept it. You will never change this reaction. If you let this get to you, then you will not last in a mixed relationship. This thinking holds deep roots and it's best to acknowledge it and move on! Trust me, it's not a fight you want to get into!

So, What CAN you Do?

1. Have a clear purpose and an even clearer understanding of your own intentions when dating a black man. You don't have to tell the world why, but you do need to know for yourself why you want to, because if you lack understanding your intentions, other people will infiltrate your relationship and this can lead to a you doubting yourself. 

2. Be honest. If your reasons are because it's Taboo and you want to break societal norms, then be honest about it! Trust me, if that is the real reason, it will come out in your actions and communications, so check your heart and mind!

3. Know you will have to make a much bigger investment into an interracial relationship than one same race coupling. It takes alot of energy and strenght to constantly defend yourself in public and private all the time. If you don't want this type of strife in your life, then do the other person and yourself a favor and don't go seeking this type of relationship!

All this being said, prayers over your relationship, no matter what challenges you face go a long way in helping to sustain your energy and attitude! 

My mission in loving Parris has always been and will always be rooted in my faith that God made him just for me and I for him. We were supposed to fight this racial battle together! This is my truth....

Remember, feel free to comment and ask me questions! Thank you and God bless

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